Izuje klompe, puhne u svijeću i mrak još jednom zavlada među suznim zidovima.

Počeo ga već uljuljkivati i prvi san kada netko zalupi po vratima. Van Der Graaf se trgne. Tko bi to mogao biti, njega nikad nitko ne posjećuje?

Ustane i otvori vrata, a ono petorica policajaca. Stoje i gledaju ga.

– Ti si Van Der Graaf?! – upita brkati s epoletama na ramenima.

– Ja – reče Van Der Graaf sluteći nevolje.

– Imamo nalog za pretres! – izvadi brkonja iz džepa masan papir i vikne:

– Hajdemo!

Policajci upadnu u sobu, započnu pretres, stanu razbijati stvari.

– Ne! Ne! Pustite to! – uzalud je zapomagao zbunjeni Van Der Graaf. – Ovo je neka greška! Nema tu ničeg što bi vas zanimalo!

– Gdje je?! Gdje ga skrivaš?! – mrzovoljno poviče brkati.

– Koga? Što?!

Uto, držeći se za ruke, zaljubljeni par policajaca, dotrči do brke i, pokazujući u najlonskoj vrećici pola glavice kupusa viknu: – Evo mozga! Evo! Našli smo ga!

– Što koga, majmune jedan!?! Ne glupiraj se s nama!

– Ali koga?! – opet upita Van Der Graaf i dobije šamar.

– Ne zajebavaj se s našim strpljenjem!! Gdje je?!

– Ali…

– Gdje skrivaš mozak?!

Van Der Graaf se zaprepasti… Kakav mozak?! Što ovi žele od njega?

Uto, držeći se za ruke, zaljubljeni par policajaca, dotrči do brke i, pokazujući u najlonskoj vrećici pola glavice kupusa viknu: – Evo mozga! Evo! Našli smo ga!

Brkati reče: – Bravo Karamarko i Čmarko! Našli ste ga! Imate tri dana nagradnog – a Van Der Graafu priprijeti prstom: – Tebe vodimo na sud! Ti si najluđi čovjek u gradu!

Na brkine riječi policajci složno i u ritmu zapjevaju:

– Tako, tako Hej ho, m ca ca m ca ca… na sud, na sud, tko je lud ne budi mu drugs & sex & rock’n’roll…

Sve se započe odvijati munjevitom brzinom.

Odvedoše oni Van Der Graafa svezanog k’o salamu, najprije u policijsku postaju, gdje je morao potpisati neke izjave, a poslije i na sud.

Bilo je oko tri i trideset ujutro kada su ga uveli u veliku palaču pravde, sve do posljednjeg mjesta ispunjenu; sudac, porota, branitelj, gomila za proces zainteresiranog pučanstva…

Van Der Graaf se užasno prestraši, obučen onako, samo u kartonsku kutiju, stao i gleda vlažnih očiju. Dakle, sve je ovo namješteno, montirani proces, svi su znali, samo on ništa nije slutio.

Da sve nije toliko stvarno, čovjek bi rekao San!, ali nažalost nije.

Nakon nekoliko riječi uvodna govora sudac reče:

– Ti si Van Der Graafe najluđi čovjek u gradu! Živiš suprotno nazorima i pravilima naših života. Ne pridonosiš boljitku naše građanske udruge, crkvi milodara ne daješ i zbog svega toga tužitelj za tebe zahtijeva najstrožu kaznu!!

– Tooo!! – zaori sudnicom. – Toooo!! – i dugačak pljesak.

– Ali ja… – mucao je Van Der Graaf – … u čemu je moja krivica, ja nikome zla ne nanosim…

– Da vidimo što ima u obranu tvoju reći branitelj?! – prekine ga sudac.

He rose and opened the door. Five cops were standing there, staring at him.

“You are Van Der Graaf, aren’t you?” asked the one with a mustache and stripes on his shoulders.

“I…” stuttered Van Der Graaf, anticipating troubles.

“We have a search warrant,” the one with a mustache pulled a greasy piece of paper out of his pocket, shouting “Let’s go!”

Policemen rushed into the room, and started their search knocking down everything on their way.

A pair of cops, holding hands like two sweethearts, ran to the mustached one showing him a bag which contained half of a cabbage, shouting ‘Here is the brain! Here it is! We’ve found it!’

“No! Please don’t! Don’t break my things!” helplessly cried Van Der Graaf. “This must be a mistake. There’s nothing here of interest to you!”

“Where is it? Where are you hiding it?” asked the mustached cop angrily.

“What?”

“What do you mean what, you silly mongrel? Don’t you play the smart arse with us!”

“But what?” once again asked Van Der Graaf and instantly got a blow in the face.

“Don’t test our patience! Where is it?”

“But…”

“Where are you hiding your brain?”

Van Der Graaf was astounded. What brain? What did they want from him?

A pair of cops, holding hands like two sweethearts, ran to the mustached one showing him a bag which contained half of a cabbage, shouting “Here is the brain! Here it is! We’ve found it!”

The mustached cop said, “Well done! Well done, R.C. Licker and U. Sucker! You’ve got it! You deserve three days off!” then he shook his finger toward Van Der Graaf “We are taking you straight to the court! You are the craziest person in the whole town!”

Hearing this, the policemen began to sing in unison, “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to the court we go…”

Everything started to happen with tremendous speed.

They packed him like salami, took him to the police station, first, where he had to sign some statement, and later off to the court.

It was around half past three in the morning when he was ushered in the great hall of justice, filled up to the last place; judge, jury, attorney and curious folk wanting justice…

Van Der Graaf, dressed only in a cardboard box, utterly terrified, stood there with moist eyes. It looked like all that was fake, made-up, he was framed, and everybody knew that, except himself, clueless totally.

If all this hadn’t been so real, it could have been a dream, but unfortunately, it wasn’t.

After a few introductory words, the judge said, “Van Der Graaf, you are the craziest man in town! You live contrary to the rules and norms we obey! You do not contribute to our community, nor do you give any charity to the church. Because of that the attorney demands the gravest punishment!”

“Yay!” cheered the crowed in the courthouse with a long applause, “Yay!”

“But… I…” stuttered Van Der Graaf. “What is my fault, I’ve never harmed anyone…”

“Let’s see what the lawyer has to say in your defense,” the judge interrupted.